Emptiness

I have not been able to officially post about the loss of Buck because I am still so emotional about him. However tonight the kids are in bed, Cory is at a softball game and the extremely quiet house made me really miss him. I will never be able to describe how incredibly special Buck was to me and my family. He was by far the best companion anyone could ever ask for. I have been around dogs my whole life but Buck was FAR superior to anything I have ever had. He never met a stranger and nobody ever forgot him. I will always remember coming home from college and meeting my new puppy for the first time. Since my dad and I raise dogs and show them there is always a possibility of a dog just "not working out." This was the case with Buck. My dad had already made arrangements to send Buck back to Nebraska until I came home and got one glimpse of him. It was not his looks that got me, but his personality, and he has had me for 12 years since. Buck then became MY dog and my best friend in every sense of the word.

Cory is not the animal lover that I am, but he knew by marrying me I came as a package with Buck. So, when we moved into our first little house Buck became an inside dog at the age of five. He had never been so happy. Even now when I ride by that house I think about all of the crazy things Buck used to do there and it just makes me laugh. We had some great memories. When Rafe was born he graciously took a back seat for a while and NEVER showed any signs of jealousy. He loved Rafe just as much as we did. Three years later we moved to Charleston and once again Buck made the transition more easily than us. I can still see him now running 100 miles an hour into our chair and almost tipping it over to get in it before one of us did. We moved two more times after that and Buck was always right there with us smiling.

Six months ago Buck's little body starting getting tired. I knew the time was coming but I was in total denial that my 12 year old dog was trying to say goodbye. I wanted him to greet me every time the door opened, I wanted him to run from Rafe when he chased him with the dump truck, I wanted to feed him his favorite popcorn snack, I wanted to see him sitting by our dinner table waiting on crumbs to fall, I wanted to take him for a ride in the car liked he loved to do, I wanted to see him curled up on his favorite pillow, I wanted him to curl up on the couch with me, I wanted him to meet Stella Ross.

Unfortunately two days after bringing Stella Ross home from the hospital we had to say goodbye to Buck. What an emotional weekend that was for all of us. We welcomed our sweet little girl to our family on Friday and lost our precious Buck on Sunday. I think this unselfish dog knew exactly what he was doing. He held on until Stella Ross could get here because he knew how hard it would have been to move on without him other wise.

Rafe is already talking about getting a new puppy and I know it won't be long before we have a new addition to our family, but it won't be Buck. Buck is one of a kind and he will NEVER be forgotten. We love you Buck!